We grow while we focus on Good each day. As we do this, we become more aware of thoughts that are not focusing on Good. Wow we notice some thoughts are critical and self-blaming.
Wait a minute! We want to rid ourselves of those. They do not feel good. (Isn’t it fun to realize those self-condemning thoughts were NEVER true!)
The process of putting attention on Good has flushed those up to review. Let’s clear them as we can! Instead, we look for Good and find it!
That first step when we become aware of a self-put-down is already a success! We let these irritants come to the surface and then question them. Do I still believe this?
For those images that were unkind and limiting, we most certainly DO want to change them.
An Example from Rachel
Rachel lost an item in her wardrobe and spent a day searching, releasing the need to find it, then finding it.
As R sat with all that effort, she recalled her father near to his dying day telling her she was “too hard on herself”. At the time, this Star felt like that label was a “bad thing” and required fixing.
During that search for a piece of clothing, Rachel woke up to what self-talk she had been running. She wondered if she had made some mistake, discarding something she did want, and of being too disorganized. “Oh My,” thought R, “Am I too hard on myself? Did I just demonstrate that quality again?” If she was showing that unwanted attribute, then that habit of thought said she had a deep flaw.
Wake Up and Reframe
“I rise to put this story in perspective!” cried our Heroine internally. So, what if I had habit of self-blame in that stage of life! That was a coping mechanism needed for the situation at hand.”
R continues, “I had parents who each turned to me for support as they went through a messy divorce throwing blame on one another. Neither parent ever mentioned wanting to notice or safeguard the feelings of my brothers or me.
Without realizing it, each parent asked me to function at a level I could not possibly do elegantly during age 16 to 19. For me back then, I did not know how to care for myself lovingly and support parents.
I had been supporting them, stuffing my own feelings. I could not give them what they needed and did not meet my own needs either! Then I felt badly that I did not succeed.”
Accessing Anger
For a moment Rachel tapped into anger at those parents and also that label. “Too hard on myself”
In the present moment feeling that rage felt satisfying. And the protagonist then knew how to champion herself for her whole self despite that label.
“What if I still harbor some habits of thought that cast me in “lesser” light? I am well along with speaking to myself kindly and in this moment I claim more compassion for the young person who did her best under impossible circumstances. “
At that time no one had ever modeled caring for his or her own dear self in R’s world. Up to then, no one she had ever met knew how to be supportive while caring for his or her own boundaries.
In present time Rachel flowed with loving understanding for that young woman of her past. Our Star forgave herself and she released that denigrating categorization “Hard on self”.
What a caring and brave person she has always been and still is!
Have you uncovered outdated assumption about self and reevaluated them? Have you reclaimed your dignity and cast away past misperceptions? Please share your story—Help us see that we all can do this and how good it feels!
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.