We each have some quality that we know does not show our best selves to the world. This post focuses on one woman who chided herself because she sometimes spoke for too long, was too loquacious. She sought help to soothe herself when that “flaw” showed up.
The Story
Karen had practiced shifting her thinking for years. Yes, K had grown and recovered from many habits of thought, had forgiven many friends and family members and gained courage to reach beyond limits in her performance that surprised and delighted her.
Still Karen shrank in embarrassment when she did that certain thing. This heroine talked a lot when she got excited about a subject. In those instances, she could easily strain her listeners. On occasion someone completed a teacher evaluation and her supervisor then reviewed those assessments. “How awful!’ thought Karen.
Wise Counsel Offers Reframe
Karen wanted relief from the humiliation when someone commented on her long windedness. She wanted help to feel more comfortable with this quality of hers.
Here is what Wise Counsel (WC) offered:
WC: “Wouldn’t it be great if we had a loyal and loving figure inside ourselves who adores us even when someone reacts to the length of our responses!”
Let’s admit to this feature: ‘Yea, I sometimes get carried away with expression—I can have a lot of thoughts!’
Let’s review some of your wonderful qualities to keep a balanced perspective:
- Teach my students with care and patience
- Plan engaging class experiments
- Offer special sessions for those who request it
- Deliver feedback to students with appreciation and encouragement
- Enjoy laughter when students respond to my jokes
- Read feedback from students on how much value they receive
On the teacher evaluations from your students feedback weighs heavily on the good side. Let’s breathe that in.
Currently when you think about being too talkative, your consciousness gets flooded with guilt and shame. Instead, you can rescue that part of yourself. You can consciously soothe that hurt part of yourself. “
Karen: “Yes I want to soothe myself and to feel better.
Definitely, I love recalling how I prevailed in a recent promotion process. I was scrutinized by a review committee sixteen ways from Sunday: they looked at all my submissions, evaluations, scores, records and interviewed me multiple times. I got it! They found meritorious service and wanted more from me!”
WC: “Yes and not only that! Let’s think about those offering negative feedback.
Maybe that student: always disliked his mother, had a headache at the time, is breaking up a romance, had a car accident on the way to class. S/he felt awful and assessed others as no good.
Most key, let’s recall that when shame floods into our system for those moments, we do not recall our true value.
Now we practice releasing this habit of beating up on ourselves and know instead that we are beloved.”
In this conversation, Karen shifted her feelings. In the past, the Star habitually felt unworthiness if someone called her long winded. This time she could send herself more compassion. K admitted she felt a lot better.
Do you have a story of how you turned around a strong reaction and grew? We benefit from growing together.
Janet Pearlman is a spiritual teacher, counselor, healer and artist. These posts demonstrate everyday applications of the path to greater self knowledge and mastery. Opportunities for greater empowerment abound in the moments of our lives. As we all go for operating from a centered and loving space, we are creating a world where peace can prevail. In her forty-six year journey of self-discovery, Janet has deeply studied the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, Ernest Holmes, Inayat Khan and more. Janet offers individual sessions by phone and in person. Please contact her at jpearl555@earthink.net to arrange an appointment.